


The Things We've Handed Down

by downuptime



Category: Captain America (2011), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel, Marvel (Movies), Marvel Avengers Movies Universe, The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, F/M, Fem!Tony, Fluff, Genderswap, Humor, Kidfic, M/M, Magic, Mpreg, Not really mpreg since Tony turns into a woman
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-07-05
Updated: 2013-01-27
Packaged: 2017-11-09 06:02:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/452153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/downuptime/pseuds/downuptime
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Tony runs a hand down his face, which Steve notes, is now slightly softer and less angular after he flew through the magical mist (“STOP OH MY JESUS CHRIST EVERYONE STOP AND DO NOT COME NEAR THIS FUCKING MIST BECAUSE IT IS EVIL”) and swats at Bruce, who is currently prodding him with some kind of ominous looking medical instrument. “I have boobs,” he grinds out, clutching them in a way that would make most people blush. “And they aren’t even bouncy.”</i>
</p><p>In which Tony is reckless in battle, Steve <i>and</i> Tony are reckless in the aftermath, and everyone has to deal with the consequences. </p><p>Except, they are not all that bad. </p><p>After all, it's just a baby. <i>Captain America</i>'s baby. Oh hell, <i>Iron Man</i>'s baby. </p><p>This (He? She?) can't be all that bad, right?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A somewhat sequel to my first fic ([Closer (I need you so much closer)](http://archiveofourown.org/works/431916)) due to popular demand. I wasn't very comfortable with the idea of an ass-baby (ha!), so I decided on a more plausible situation - or, a situation as plausible as it can get in the Avengers universe. 
> 
> And. Sexy times to come, I promise.

“This,” Tony waved an accusing finger at Clint, who was doubled over and shaking with laughter, “This is Not. Funny. At. All.”

 

Steve could not help but smile. Natasha too, could barely keep her lips from quirking up at the corners.

 

“It really is not funny,” Tony’s voice took on a hysterical edge. He gestured at himself. “I really _really_ like Little Tony – “

 

Steve forced himself to be serious. “This is why you shouldn’t charge into unknown mists not heeding our game plan, Tony.” He cleared his throat, and tried not to smile. “Consequences.”

 

“Consequences?  _Consequence_ s?!”

 

“Yes, _consequences_ ,” Clint practically howled. “Extremely drastic consequences.”

 

“This is seriously not funny, guys. Little Tony is _gone_.”

 

Steve really didn't need Clint to burst out in a second round of hysterical laughter, which of course, was precisely what happened. At least Natasha seemed to have regained her composure. She primly pinched Clint hard, causing him to choke on his own spit. 

 

Tony ran a hand down his face, which Steve noted, was now slightly softer and less angular after he flew through the magical mist (“STOP OH MY JESUS CHRIST EVERYONE STOP AND DO NOT COME NEAR THIS FUCKING MIST BECAUSE IT IS EVIL”) and swatted at Bruce, who was currently prodding him with some kind of ominous looking medical instrument. “I have _boobs_ ,” he ground out, clutching them in a way that would make most people blush. “And they aren’t even _bouncy_.”

 

“You’re as flat as an airport runway,” Natasha supplied.

 

“Woman of Iron, you are mightily beautiful,” Thor stepped closer, sinking to his knee. He took Tony’s hand and _planted a kiss_ on it. “They make these remarks in jest.”

 

Tony was stunned, though he was kind of beginning to get why Jane is so hopelessly in love with Thor, but was ruined when Thor smiled cheekily at him and did a little pirouette.

 

Tony threw his hands up in the air in frustration, making some sort of helpless, frustrated growling noise. 

 

“Alright, everyone, that’s enough.” Steve wrapped his arm around Tony’s waist and tugged him closer. Hmm. He did appreciate the newfound curve to Tony’s hips. “Thor, you will talk to Loki about this?”

 

Thor nodded. “My brother is well-versed in such enchantments. I will seek more information from him. Let us hope that this is but for a brief period of time.”

 

Tony buried his head in Steve’s chest and let out a dramatic whimper. Clint snorted but managed to stop the laughter before Natasha stabbed him with one of his own arrows.

 

“I will check on the rest of the civilians who were affected to see if they have similar symptoms,” Bruce remarked as he swiftly avoided another half-hearted attempt of Tony’s to smack his probing hand away. “Hopefully it’s just a simple gender switch.”

 

At the words _gender_ _switch_ , Tony curled further into Steve.

 

“Is there a problem with being a woman, Stark?” Natasha asked coolly.

 

Steve tried really hard to stop smiling. “Alright everyone. Let’s give Tony some space.”

 

“You mean give Tony and you both some space,” Clint remarked wickedly. “I’m sure there’s some… _exploration_ to do.”

 

“No sex,” Bruce remarked mildly. “Not until we confirm that it is indeed a harmless gender switch.”

 

A strangled noise from Tony. “This is _anything_ but harmless!”

 

“Okay, okay, shoo,” Steve flapped his hand at the rest of the team while simultaneously patting Tony on the back.

 

The team shuffled out obediently. Clint gave Steve a lewd wink, Natasha in turn shoved Clint out the door, and Banner mouthed  _no sex_ and pointed at both of them warningly, making his message clear.

 

“Debrief in an hour,” Steve hollered at them as an afterthought. “ _Turn up_! Or Coulson will tase you!”

 

* * *

 

“Well, it seems like it is a simple gender switch,” Bruce frowned at his clipboard. “We had thirteen civilians affected, both men and women – “

 

“Vice versa now,” Clint added helpfully. Steve narrowed his eyes warningly, and Clint raised his hands in surrender, backing off.

 

Bruce raised his eyebrows in consternation before consulting his clipboard again. “Their symptoms are identical to that of Tony’s.”

 

“Loki says there is no definite time-frame for the effects of this enchantment to wear off,” Thor said gravely. “It is an age-old enchantment. Only the most powerful are able to wield it. C’est la vie, he says.”

 

Life as an Avenger, Steve thought. Their lives are so not normal. 

 

“I would also advise no sex for, well, for as long as this lasts. There might be adverse effects that develop later on.” Bruce looked up and peered over his glasses. “Sorry, guys. I know it’s uh, a pleasurable part of your relationship.”

 

Tony let his forehead smack loudly on the dining table. Steve extended his hand and kneaded at the tense muscles at the back of Tony’s neck. “It’s not that bad, Tony.”

 

“Yeah,” Natasha added coolly. There was an undercurrent of a warning in her voice. “It’s not that bad being a woman. _Right_?”

 

“You can still participate in our missions,” Bruce looked up from his clipboard and set his glasses down on the table. “I see no reason why not. Nothing really needs to change. You’re still Iron Man.”

 

“Iron Wo – “ That’s all Clint managed to get out before Natasha pinched him. Hard.

 

Tony’s nose remained smushed against the wooden dining table as he flipped Clint off. “I miss Little Tony.” As an afterthought, he added, “Steve probably does too.”

 

“And… that is not relevant to most of us,” Natasha rolled her eyes and got up from the dining table. “You just need to modify the suit a little.”

 

“Yeah,” Tony groaned. “To accommodate my non-existent boobs.”

 

“You are also shorter by about half an inch. Your hips are wider by an inch and a quarter. You’re lucky that’s all there is." 

 

That’s not really all, Steve thought. He had already catalogued all the ways Tony’s body had changed. Tony was now slightly more petite, though his hips were slightly wider, giving his body a slight, though very alluring, curve. There was the hint of breasts, judging from the way the fabric of the graphic tee – now no-longer form fitting, but slightly loose and body-skimming – fell on Tony’s shoulders, chest and hips.

 

“Thanks, Nat, I totally did not know how my body has changed,” Tony mumbled into the dining table.

 

“Call me that again and I’ll make sure you never meet Little Tony again.”

 

“Hey, we’re on the same side now,” Tony managed his most sarcastic tone yet. “Best girlfriends.”

 

* * *

 

“What are you working on this time?” Steve set Tony’s bowl of ice-cream down on the workshop bench. He settled down on his own stool with his own bowl of ice-cream, choosing not to mention that Tony had been in the workshop for slightly over twenty hours.

 

He goes to the gym, Natasha kicks the asses of unsuspecting trainee SHIELD agents who belittle her, Clint shoots arrows at tiny fake heads (the heads are about the size of a fist) from a hundred yards away, Bruce meditates, and Coulson watches Supernanny.

 

Tony just spends days in the workshop.

 

Different people had different ways of coping.

 

It had been a week, and Tony still showed no signs of changing back.

 

“ _Not_ working on upgrades for Clint,” Tony shoved a spoonful of ice-cream into his mouth. “For once. No upgrades for him for a month. At the very least. JARVIS, note that down. Remind me not to do so. Actually, make that two months.”

 

“Yes, ma’am,” JARVIS intoned. “However, just four hours ago, you did say, and I quote, _those heat-seeking arrows are atrocious, JARVIS, remind me to get them done by the end of the day, they are such an embarrassment, Jesus._ Shall I move this scheduled upgrade to the back of the queue, then?”

 

“I am pretty sure S-A-R-C-A-S-M is not in your code, JARVIS.”

 

“Indeed, it isn’t, ma’am.”

 

“ _Enough with the ma’ams_!”

 

“My apologies, _sir_.” That was definitely a sniff from JARVIS. Steve never ceased to be amazed by the AI. “I was responding to the change in your biology.”

 

“Fine,” Tony bit out. “Be that way.”

 

“Tony,” Steve soothed. “Everything is fine. It’s just a little change in your body, that’s all. You’re still Tony Stark. You still look like you.”

 

Tony huffed and stared grumpily at the parts in his hand. “Natasha was wrong,” he muttered after a while. “I am shorter by one whole inch.”

 

Steve got to his feet and placed both his hands on Tony’s shoulders, spinning him around. “You are still aesthetically very pleasing, by the way. Even as a woman.”

 

The lines on Tony’s face faded just a little. “Smooth-talker.”

 

“Bublé please, JARVIS.”

 

“Excellent choice, Captain.” The lights and screens automatically dimmed, and the music began to play.

 

“I _really_ don’t like Bublé ,” Tony remarked as he let himself be drawn into Steve’s chest. “Your taste in music _sucks_.”

 

“I like to keep my ears in good condition, thank you very much.”

 

“This song is corny.”  

 

“It is beautiful,” Steve corrected. He smiled into Tony’s hair, feeling the tension in Tony's muscles slowly drain away. “Just like you.”

 

“Shut up,” Tony muttered grumpily. Half-heartedly grumpy. “Pandering to a woman's vanity already.”

 

“Oh Tony, you are a vain man and you know it.”

 

“10 points for not calling me a woman.”

 

“My pleasure.”

 

They swayed slowly on the spot to Bublé’s _Everything_ , bodies pressed against each other’s. Steve could feel the arc reactor between them both (can feel the slight curve of Tony’s breasts) and it was a reassuring reminder that Tony was still here with him.

 

When the song ended, Tony sighed into Steve’s chest. “Well I guess there is _one_ upside to this.”

 

“What?”

 

“The mythical multiple orgasms.” 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The joys and the pains of being a woman.

Steve snorted at the reverential whisper. “You mean what we currently do each night isn’t enough?”

 

Tony was very proud of the fact that Steve could now talk about sex without having his entire face and ears turn beet-red. It had taken some conditioning.

 

“We need breaks,” Tony stated matter-of-factly. “There is a distinct difference. Okay granted, we already need less time than others, but... Women don’t need them at all.” Tony peered up at Steve, an excited glint in his eyes. “With your super soldier refractory period…” Ton’y eyes practically sparkled. “Imagine the possibilities.”

 

Steve knew it was a little corny, but with _that_ much wonderment and awe in Tony’s statement, he couldn’t help but imagine glitter and confetti sparkling in the air.

 

“Bruce said no sex.”

 

“Yadda yadda yadda.”

  
“Tony…”

 

“ _Steve_.”

 

“We shouldn’t…”

 

“It’s been two weeks.” There were no limits to Tony’s abilities, Steve thought. The pout and wheedle was formidable. “Seven days. One hundred and forty-eight hours since we last had sex. That must be a record or something.” Tony’s eyes glazed over as he pressed himself tighter against Steve. “The last time, I was in your lap, arms wrapped around you, as you fucked me silly in the hot tub.”

 

Steve couldn’t help but groan. Crap. “What if it harms you? Kills you, even?”

 

Okay, that was _not_ eloquent at all. Tony did funny things to him.

  
“I’m dropping dead _right_ _now_ from a lack of sex,” Tony insisted. His hands drifted lower to a certain part of Steve that was very interested whenever Tony was around and shamelessly using that seductive, sultry tone of his. “I’m going into cardiac arrest right now.”

 

Steve raised a hand to gently trace the outline of the arc reactor through Tony’s t-shirt. “Please don’t joke about that,” he murmured. “It’s not funny.”

 

Tony responded by wrapping his arms around Steve, and pulling himself flush against him. “I’m not going anywhere, Steve.” The moment of tenderness was ruined by his next remark. “And from the looks of it, my vagina isn’t going anywhere either.” He grinned, tip-toed and pressed his lips to Steve’s for a searing kiss, but pulled back abruptly. “For now, at least. It better be temporary.”

 

Steve could feel himself crumbling and starting to give in. Shit.

 

“We should ask Bruce – “

 

“Are we really going to announce to Bruce that we are dying to have sex? Really, Steve? I know you enjoy our healthy sex life, but I never thought you were one to –“

 

“Okay, okay,” Steve hurriedly blurted out, covering Tony’s mouth with his hand. “I got it. Fine. But once – and I mean _once_ – anything even begins to feel wrong, we’re stopping immediately. _Immediately_.”

 

“What,” Tony whined. “Even if I’m at the very brink of – “

 

“ _Immediately_ ,” Steve enunciated each syllable clearly for the child that was his insufferable boyfriend. “And then we’re getting Bruce.”

 

The look of horror was almost comical. “No way.”

 

“Yes way. Or no sex. Choose: sex or no sex?”

 

It wasn’t a hard decision to make, as Steve expected. “Fine,” Tony sighed, acting all put out upon. “Dummy, You, back to charging stations. Yes, go, now. No, uh-uh, don’t pout at me like that, I’m going to be busy. Very busy. Now shoo. Go." The bots were seriously dejected, but they whirred back to their charging stations after nudging Steve goodbye. Steve patted Dummy on the head absentmindedly. He was, after all, distracted.

 

Who wouldn’t be if Tony Stark was whipping off his t-shirt to reveal his torso. Contrary to what Tony and Natasha had said a week ago, Tony was not flat like a runway. Steve could see the slight curves of two breasts on either side of the arc reactor, just above the flat plane that was Tony’s toned, lean stomach.

 

Then Tony was stepping out of his trackpants – which always sat nicely on his hips, but now... _wow_ – and well, it was just like him to go commando. Tony grinned slyly at Steve, who by now was feeling… uncomfortably warm. His clothes were feeling a little tight on him now. Especially his pants. 

 

 _“Now_ will you fuck me over the bench?!”

 

And that, Steve thought dizzily, was how he ended up bent over the workbench, various tools and things scattered on the floor around them, pinning a very female Tony to the surface.

 

It was a little disconcerting to press against Tony and not feel his erection between their two bodies. But then again, to have Tony like that in front of him… it was incredibly hot. 

 

Tony unabashedly slid further up the table, bending his knees and setting his heels down at the very edge of the table for leverage. And in the meantime, showcasing to Steve what exactly he had to offer. Steve swallowed hard. “You’re going to be the death of me," he croaked. 

 

“Only the little kind,” Tony remarked back. “Here I am offering my body up to you. Move, maybe?”

 

Steve huffed. “Very bossy. I like it.”

 

“Kinky. I knew you had it in – “

 

“Less talking, Tony,” Steve mumbled against Tony’s warm, soft lips. “Now hush.” He kissed his way down – Tony’s jaw, then where shoulder met neck, then the collarbones which stuck out a little too much for Steve’s liking (he came from an era where women didn’t have to be stick-thin, he still couldn’t get how people thought Kate Moss was hot, she looked like a scarecrow to him) then the metal that was the ridge of the arc reactor. Steve cupped Tony’s breast with his hand. “Mmm,” he hummed, circling the areola. “This is new.”

 

“Nice, huh?”

 

“Quite nice,” Steve agreed. He thumbed the nipple, which hardened, enjoying the gasp it evoked from Tony. “Very nice.” He bent down and ran his tongue over the little nub as Tony panted above him. He could feel himself getting aroused. He’d done this before, playing with Tony’s nipples, but this was different. There was a luxurious weight, a slender curve and a delightful bounciness to Tony’s breasts.

 

“Oh my god,” Tony moaned. “We should done this way earlier.”

 

Steve decided that the best way to shut Tony up was to perhaps not talk to him. He lapped at Tony’s other breast, simultaneously enjoying the flush that crept up from Tony’s chest to his neck, then to his face.

 

He slipped his hand down to Tony’s curls and traced the lips of Tony’s vagina. It was foreign, but yet, he didn’t feel uncomfortable or even worse, clueless. Making his decision swiftly, Steve slipped a finger in, then two, feeling around the warm walls that were so similar, yet vastly different from what he was used to.

 

Tony made a strangled noise in his throat, his fingers curling in Steve’s hair. It sounded a little too pained for Steve, so he began to withdraw, “Does it hurt?”

 

Tony shrugged. “Just… uncomfortable. It’ll get better,” he replied, before wrapping his leg around Steve’s hips, making his message clear.

 

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

 

“We’re biologically made for this, okay? You’re not going to hurt me. Now stop being all concerned and caring Captain America and turn back into the sex fiend that I totally know you – “ Tony was cut off by Steve’s tongue on his clitoris. “Lord Jesus Christ Almighty,” he breathed. “That is…. wow. I knew it. You've researched this. There is no way anyone can be this talented for their first time. Oh - " He threw his head back as Steve simultaneously thrust his fingers in and pressed his tongue against that beautiful spot in tantalizing circles. 

 

Tony’s thighs trembled as Steve lapped and sucked at his clitoris. “Jesus, Steve I can’t – “ He couldn’t finish his sentence before his entire body tightened as he came, his walls clamping down on Steve’s fingers. Tony moaned wantonly through his orgasm, his thighs shaking.

 

Steve propped an elbow on the bench as he waited for Tony to come down from his high, all the while thrusting his fingers in and out leisurely. “That’s quick,” he commented. “So it was good?”

 

“Fabulous,” Tony panted, unashamed that he’d come so quickly. Sex with Steve, for him, was usually about having to hold out and exerting immense control over himself. Downside of having a boyfriend with insane stamina. “Fan- _fucking_ -tastic.”

 

“Huh," Steve huffed.

 

“That was only one orgasm though.”

 

“You’re a very impatient man, Tony Stark,” Steve muttered crossly as he got onto the table, straddling Tony. He leaned down and kissed Tony passionately. And carefully. Tony seemed smaller and more fragile. “Bossing Captain America around in bed.”

 

“Ooooh.” Steve knew Tony liked this. “Scary.”

 

Tony’s fingers fumbled at Steve’s belt for what seemed like forever until finally, it came undone. Steve kicked off his khakis and boxers , and was just about to unbutton his blue plaid shirt when Tony stopped him. “Keep the shirt on.”

 

“Now who’s kinky?”

 

Tony answered by wrapping his slender fingers around Steve’s extremely hard member, stroking it luxuriously. He batted his eyelids seductively, pouting every so slightly, and Steve suddenly felt this warm surge of love and affection that warmed him to his very toes. It must have shown on his face, for Tony smirked and muttered affectionately, “Dork.”

 

Steve just grinned and kissed Tony again, slipping his hands down to the curve of Tony’s hips. Ever so slowly, he began to push in.

 

Tony’s mouth broke away from his as Tony arched and grappled and clawed at Steve’s clothed back, panting, his breasts heaving ever so slightly as his chest rose up and down erratically and shallowly. Steve buried his face in Tony’s shoulder, stifling a groan as he felt Tony’s tense up and clench.

 

 With one hand supporting his weight, Steve brought his other hand to cup Tony’s breast, rolling his nipple between his fingers and pinching it just so slightly. Tony bucked under him with a strangled gasp, and the way it felt nearly made Steve’s eyes roll up in his head. He had to grit his teeth as he thrust in and out slowly and leisurely, willing himself to hold out.

 

“Oh my god, Steve,” Tony moaned breathlessly. “Jesus. This is – _fuck_ -“ he practically convulsed as Steve thrust in slightly harder, “That’s it, that’s – more, please, more, Steve.”

 

Steve couldn’t take it anymore, and he sped up, swiftly pulling out and thrusting back in again, quickly but still gently. The workbench creaked loudly as the two bodies moved in tandem on it, and tools rattled and even toppled over the edge of the table, some swept off by Tony’s flailing hands and scrabbling feet. Steve trapped Tony’s hands above his head and Tony wrapped his legs around Steve’s waist, encouraging him to go harder and faster.

 

Tony, still sensitive, came first, clamping down on Steve again, setting off Steve’s own orgasm. Steve collapsed on top of Tony, breathless, face buried in his chest.

 

“Wow,” Tony breathed. “Just… wow.”

 

“Yeah,” Steve mumbled into salty skin. He couldn’t resist placing a kiss at the curve of Tony’s breast, right next to the arc reactor. “Yeah.”

 

“I’m not dead, or in blinding agony or anything.”

 

“That’s good.”

 

“In fact, I’m in a state of nirvana,” Tony sighed. He dropped his chin onto Steve’s forehead, humming lightly. “Do you think two is the limit?”

 

Steve chuckled into Tony’s skin. “We’ll see.”

 

“We can’t tell Bruce, you know,” Tony mumbled lazily, carding his fingers through Steve’s hair. “He’ll kill me. Skewing the results of the tests and all.”

 

“Your fault, remember?”

 

“Just keep it a secret, Steve. Can’t have Captain America breaking all the rules. That’s just _unheard_ of. Practically blasphemy." 

 

* * *

 

“What is the meaning of this fuckery,” Tony groaned as he curled up on the couch. “ _Why_. Is. This. Happening. To. Me?!”

 

Bruce tried to be more sympathetic, but he really couldn’t be, not after Tony had disobeyed his orders. It had been so obvious – Steve and Tony had exited the workshop with this glow around them. And Tony had looked wrung out and awed and quite simply… fucked out of his wits. Steve had just looked guilty. “Women experience not only mythical orgasms, but also this monthly occurrence called menstruation.” He relented, and passed Tony the hot water bottle. “You’re just having cramps.”

 

“I’m dying.”

 

“You’re not dying.”

 

“Yes, I am.”

 

“No, you’re not.”

 

“I’m bleeding. _Bleeding_. I need a blood transfusion, Bruce.” Jesus, Natasha had had to bring him out to buy sanitary pads and tampons. No, he was never going to be able to forget this. Clint was going to tease him till he entered the grave. “There is seriously something wrong with me. Bruuuuuuuce. You have to save me.”

 

Bruce relented just a little as he watched Tony curl up with the hot water bottle. It was bordering pathetic, and Tony knew it. And if Tony knew it, but was still acting this way… then it must really be quite awful. “I guess some painkillers are acceptable,” he grumbled as he handed two pills to Tony. Tony’s face lit up like a light bulb and yeah, that really _was_ quite pathetic. Millions of women endured this every single month. “Now you can’t mock Natasha and Pepper for crying at the The Notebook anymore.” Tony rolled his eyes. Weekly movie nights were always a fiasco when Pepper and Natasha insisted on sappy tearjerkers right before _that_ time of the month – and the men always gave in to them because you never messed with PMS-y ladies. “But you can’t guzzle them down– “

 

“Steve,” Tony moaned, “Where have you been?! I’m on my deathbed and you were _gone_.”

 

Bruce spun around to see a sheepish Steve standing at the door, holding a flask. “Oh thank god,” he mumbled. “Here, have him. Really. You’re welcome, and yes, he’s going to live, though he seems convinced otherwise.” He patted Steve on the shoulder. “Best of luck.”

 

“Thanks, Bruce,” Steve said wryly. “I’ll take over from here. I forgot how much of a child he is sometimes.”  

 

“Excuse me,” Tony shouted from where he was curled up in the middle of his bed. “I am in the room. What happened to my shy, coy, and blushing boyfriend?”

 

Bruce rolled his eyes and left the room. Steve sighed and climbed onto the bed, settling against the headboard before beginning to pour something out from the flask. Tony uncurled slightly from around his pillow to sniff at the air. “Hot chocolate?”

 

“Iced drinks exacerbate the cramps. And chocolate makes you happy.”

 

Tony buried his face against Steve. Steve could practically feel the pout against his hip. “My will is with JARVIS. Take good care of Dummy, he’ll be sad and he’ll follow you around for days but he’ll get over – “

 

Steve set down the cup of hot chocolate and tugged Tony upwards, setting him against the headboard. “Shush, and drink.”

 

Tony finished the hot chocolate and flopped down on top of Steve’s body, curling around him, hooking his arms under Steve’s shoulders and wrapping his legs around Steve’s thighs. It took Steve a moment, but he realised what Tony was doing.

 

“I really am not a hot water bottle,” he whispered dryly.

 

“You’re warm,” Tony mumbled lazily. “And you smell nice. And your chest is really broad and firm and… nice.”

  
Tony was always loopy with painkillers. And chocolate. “Just sleep.” Steve rubbed Tony’s back reassuringly. “It’ll be better when you wake up.”

 

“Promise?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“I feel pathetic.”

 

“It’s okay,” Steve slipped his hand under Tony’s ratty white tee and rubbed circles at the small of his back. He had braved the monstrosity that was Google, and found that back rubs helped sometimes. “I still love a pathetic Tony.”

 

“I have corrupted you. I much preferred it when you were all blushing and uncertain of your sexuality around me. You were such a wonderful boyfriend then. None of these pointed jokes at my expense.”

 

“Uh-huh. Lights to thirty percent, please, JARVIS?”

 

“Certainly, Captain.”

  
They were quiet for a while as the lights dimmed. Steve could feel the arc reactor pressing against his chest, the hard edges of it not painful, but still noticeable. He could feel the quiet humming, almost a whirring, that always reassured him that Tony was still here with him.

  
“Steve?” Tony slurred. Definitely the painkillers. He sounded pathetically adorable and Steve’s heart all but melted.

 

“Hmm?”

 

“I’m going to sleep now.”

 

“Okay.”

 

There was a pause, then, “Don’t go, okay?”

 

Tony didn’t quite like being the only vulnerable person on the team. Other than Clint of course, but Clint possessed the ability to perch on ledges and climb through vents so he was pretty much not as human as Tony. At least, in Tony’s eyes. There still were nights when Tony would wake up breathless and panicked in bed, stiff as a board and afraid to move, and it took Steve’s murmurs of reassurance, plenty of soothing and some petting for them to finally both be able to go back to sleep, Steve curling up behind Tony to help him stay in the present and remember that he wasn’t alone.

 

“Yeah,” Steve slid his arms around Tony’s waist and engulfed Tony in his warm, warm embrace. “Not going anywhere." 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the consequences catch up with Tony and Steve, i.e. the shit hits the fan.

The only way to describe Tony and Steve for the next few weeks was well, they went at it like rabbits.

 

There was that one time Bruce stumbled upon them when he stepped out of the elevator on his way to Tony’s workshop and he was pretty sure his eyes _burned_. He could literally feel his corneas melting, and it wasn’t from him hulking out. He had yelped and backed away into the elevator, jabbing the button, willing the elevator doors to move faster, resisting the urge to wash out his eyes with bleach.

 

Clint took to sniggering every time Tony and Steve found excuses to leave Movie Nights early. So they tried sneaking out in the middle of the movie, but that failed when Natasha, annoyed at the bodies moving between her and the screen, had stealthily stuck out her foot to trip Steve, who went sprawling onto the rug. It didn’t help that Clint had flung popcorn at them as they had tried to creep out. “MY GOOD CAPTAIN!” Thor had boomed. “THIS LACK OF FINESSE IS MOST UNLIKE YOU!”

 

They did it everywhere – they had so much more freedom and so many new positions to try. There was the staircase, of course, (not to be repeated, too painful with too many edges poking) and then there was one particular time Steve had _lifted_ Tony and fucked him against the window, his heated body the perfect contrast to the cool glass window (totally repeatable and worth a thousand points, in Tony’s opinion). There was also the time they did it in the bathtub, the shower, the armchair, and on the floor.

 

Tony was very flexible.

 

Then what they came to know as the Great Food Poisoning incident happened.

 

They hadn’t been able to pinpoint exactly which meal had been the cause of it, but that didn’t stop Steve, Bruce and Clint, designated chefs and baker, from all feeling terribly guilty.

 

Actually, Clint didn’t feel very guilty. He was too busy whining over the toilet bowl and swearing that he never baked with expired ingredients.

 

Steve and Bruce, however, kept apologizing.  Steve, for the bread and butter pudding, and Bruce, for what had been an absolutely stunning Thai green curry. That was, when they could actually speak a full sentence without running to the toilet and puking their guts out.

 

Thor was immune to it all thanks to his godly digestive system. He spent a lot of time panicking on the phone to Jane before she swooped in with Darcy to save the day. It was perfect timing, for Coulson – who by some stroke of luck had not dined with them that day – seemed close to losing _all_ of his hair.

 

Steve, with his super-soldierness, got better after two days. He spent the rest of the time fussing over a very grumpy Tony who had set up a mattress in their bedroom right next to the toilet, complete with tablets and his work tools, after Steve had forcibly removed him from his lab. JARVIS, the traitor, had agreed with Steve, and refused to help him escape from his prison. Even Dummy was in on it, bugging Tony and surreptitiously nudging him towards the workshop exit.

 

If Steve thought it was extremely adorable of Tony Stark to be cocooned in blankets while pressing his face into Steve’s hips and mumbling that he was _dying, what is this, Steve, save me_ , he didn’t mention it. He settled for petting Tony’s hair while sketching or rubbing his back soothingly as he puked into the well-used toilet bowl.

 

Everyone gradually began to get better. Natasha bounced back as lethal as ever – gone was the unsteady swaying – and Clint stopped falling off his perches. The tinge of green in Bruce’s face (it had been a very confusing time for all of them – they couldn’t tell whether he was Hulking out or just about to projectile vomit) faded away with only one major Hulk incident. Steve was pretty sure the toilet on the twenty-sixth floor was never going to be the same again, though.

 

Coulson crashed in a bed for twelve hours straight after five days of being the official Avengers nanny. Jane and Darcy slept for an entire day.

 

The one person who didn’t get well, though, was Tony.

 

The gurgling in his digestive system was gone, as was the slight fever and diarrhea, but he continued to be plagued by an incessant nausea that would not go away. It was driving him nuts. Mornings found him crouched over the toilet dry heaving with a bleary Steve rubbing at his back.

 

“This is like the plague,” he griped one morning five days after Clint had gotten well. “Why is it not stopping?!”

 

Steve was beginning to wonder why as well. A few days ago, he would have hushed Tony and asked him to be patient. But it had been almost two weeks. Even if Tony’s digestive system was still sensitive, there was no reason for him to still be nauseous and vomiting every single day.

 

Bruce, too, evidently, was worried. He appeared by the door. “This shouldn’t be happening,” he muttered almost to himself. He winced as Tony made a particularly rough sound into the depths of the toilet bowl. Nothing came up, except spit.

 

“Does this have anything to do with the sex change?” Steve swiped the cup of water off the counter and passed it to Tony, who chugged it down.

 

Tony made a sound of distress as he hugged the toilet. “No way. I tell you, that bouillabaisse you made last night was _off_.”

 

“My bouillabaisse was delicious.” The indignant tone in Steve’s voice was offset by him running his fingers through Tony’s hair. “And no one else is sick.”

 

“It was delicious,” Bruce agreed mildly. He perched on the edge of the bathtub, and casually stuck a needle into Tony’s arm, ignoring the offended yelp it induced. “And I don’t think this has anything to do with the… ah, involuntary gender swap. I’ve checked, none of the other victims are suffering from these symptoms.” He casually bagged the blood sample and began prodding Tony. “This is cause for concern, though. We’ll have to investigate.”

 

Steve felt a wave of worry wash over him. “Are you saying that Tony could be ill?”

 

“Great. Someone out there seriously hates me.” Tony looked up from the porcelain throne. “I think I’m done puking my guts out for now.”

 

Steve sighed and scooped Tony up bridal-style.

 

“That was a rather undignified squawk,” Bruce commented. He pushed up his glasses as he stood up. “I’ll go run some tests.”

 

“Don’t make me play those videos of you and Darcy making out on my couch!” Tony yelled from where he was being carted off to the bedroom. “I am onto you, Banner!”

 

Steve stopped in his tracks. “Bruce and Darcy are – “

 

“ _Yes_ ,” Tony said emphatically. He folded his arms across his chest, jabbing Steve in the chest with an elbow. “I can’t believe it too. What is the world coming to?!”

 

“Huh. I kind of like it.” Steve lay Tony on the bed and dropped down next to him. “They’re kind of perfect for each other. In a whole… opposites attract kind of way. Like you and me.”

 

“We need to work on that. That was awful.”

 

“You like it, admit it.” Steve drew the blanket over his boyfriend. He didn’t quite like how Tony’s collarbone and ribs were now more prominent. Sure, losing weight during food poisoning was normal, but Tony couldn’t really afford to lose any more weight. “Now rest, or you’ll never get well. And then I’ll never let you back into the workshop ever again.”

 

* * *

 

Steve knew something was terribly wrong when Bruce actually barged his way into the workshop a few hours later. He looked up from his sketchbook – this time, a picture of Clint perched on Dummy – and set it down slowly and carefully.

 

Tony looked up distractedly from his bench, goggles askew. His being allowed to enter the lab had been a special reward for actually lying in bed and sleeping for eight hours straight. Steve didn’t tell him that it had actually be worrying that he had slept so soundly for eight hours.

 

“You guys should sit down.” Bruce nervously pushed up his glasses and shuffled the papers clutched in his hands.

 

“Oooookay,” Tony eyed Bruce. “I have a feeling this isn’t going to be good.”

 

“Is Tony ill? Is it terminal?” Steve blurted out. God, all his worst fears were coming true. He had been suppressing all his feelings of worry, which by now were threatening to turn him berserk. “What treatment options are there? I’m willing to do _anything_.”

 

Bruce was genuinely bewildered. “What? No, no, Tony isn’t ill.”

 

“Oh.” Steve deflated, literally feeling the worry seep out of his pores. “Okay. So what’s wrong?”

 

Bruce took a deep breath. Tony shot him a weird look. “You guys need to answer this question honestly.”

 

“Um, okay.”

 

“Yeah yeah, whatever.”

 

“Please please _please_ , tell me you have been using birth control.”

 

“That isn’t even a _question,_ that’s a statement, “ Tony said immediately. “Bruce-y, you and I both know the importance of semantics – “ then he stopped abruptly. “Oh. Oh. Oh, shit. No, no no no no no. _NO_.”

 

Steve was confused, to say the least. “What? No, we haven’t been using condoms. We’ve never used them, we’re both clean and in a committed relation– “

 

“TMI, Steve,” Bruce cut in. “But, really, no?”

 

By now, Tony’s face was planted on the workbench. “Nooooooo,” he moaned. “Don’t tell me what I think you’re going to tell me.”

 

“I’m afraid so, Tony.”

 

“It is impossible. IMPOSSIBLE.”

 

“Technically, it is possible,” Bruce said gently. “You have the body of a woman now, Tony. You know that. You had your period last month. You have ovaries, and a uterus, and a vagina.”

 

Steve finally managed to connect the dots. Sometimes he was really cute with that face of his, but now, Tony just wanted to wipe it off for good. “Oh, _shit_. Really?”

 

“Yes, really.” Bruce paused. _Fucking dramatic effect_ , thought Tony. Or maybe it was just the fact that Steve swore. “He’s pregnant.”

 

For the first time since he became _The_ Super Soldier, Steve felt dangerously close to passing out. “Are you sure?”

 

“We’ll need to do a scan to be entirely sure. I’ll spare you the science, but I am pretty sure he is.”

 

By now, panic was swelling in Steve. He could tell it was full-blown in Tony. But the rational scientist and engineer who always relied on facts and figures in Tony won out. His voice was calm and somewhat steady as he said, “Let me see.”  

 

It was a quiet two minutes as Tony scanned through the test results that Bruce handed over. Steve didn't bother asking how Tony knew how to read such reports. He still wasn’t exactly sure how many doctorates Tony had.

 

In the blink of an eye, Steve and Bruce found themselves locked out of the workshop. Steve grimaced as Tony stalked over to his workbench, entire body taut with anger and tension and immediately conjured up numerous glowing blue holograms that swirled around in the air as he angrily gestured and waved and started working on something that seemed suspiciously like an upgrade for Steve’s uniform.

 

“I’ll talk to him,” he said softly.

 

“You should.” Bruce glanced over at Tony before turning to Steve. “He’s not going to take this well. This is something the two of you need to work out. This is a child, a human being.” Bruce clapped a hand on Steve’s shoulder. “Perhaps this isn’t the best time to say congratulations. But well, congratulations.”

 

Steve sucked in a deep breath and stood there for a few moments, trying to calm himself. He rapped on the glass. “Tony.”

 

No acknowledgement.

 

“Tony.”

 

Still nothing.

 

“JARVIS?”

 

“Sir has explicitly expressed his wish that no one is to come in. I have to follow his orders. ” The AI paused, then added, “Your emergency access code, however, can override it.”  

 

Steve thanked the heavens that Tony’s AI was so… intelligent.

 

Steve hastily began punching in his access code.

 

“Is Sir alright, Captain?”

 

Steve’s fingers faltered over the keypad. “I’m not sure,” he said softly. “So I really need to talk to him.”

 

“I understand, Captain. I will see to it that you are not interrupted.”

 

The doors slid open with a soft whoosh. Steve stepped in apprehensively. “Tony?”

 

A very pretty glass trophy sailed through the air towards his head.

 

He ducked easily and winced as the trophy shattered against the wall. “Tony…”

 

“Don’t _Tony_ me!”

 

That was punctuated with a gold trophy embellished with several red, blue and white ribbons.

 

“This,”

 

another trophy,

 

“Is,”

 

a silver one, Steve’s personal favorite – this one he caught, it was a humanitarian award Tony had been bestowed with for his acts of charity and goodwill -

 

“All. Your. Fault!”

 

It ended with a particularly heavy box that caused two sketches of Dummy and You that Tony had persuaded Steve to hang up to drop off the wall and crash to the ground.

 

“Tony,” Steve set down the humanitarian award on a shelf and took several steps closer. “It’s okay.”

 

“It’s not okay!”

 

Steve didn’t quite like how Tony was bordering hysterical. “It is okay. We can work this out. We can do this.” 

 

“I am not parent material!” Tony snapped back. “I had the most fucked up father in the universe! The odds are not exactly with me.”

 

Steve didn’t bother refuting that statement. Now was not the time for it.

 

On the other hand, it was a positive sign that Tony had not mentioned actually terminating the pregnancy at any point.

 

“It’s a child, Tony. _Our_ child.” Steve tugged Tony close to him. Tony struggled for a bit, but Steve refused to let go. “He or she is innocent. What’s done is done.”

 

Tony eventually gave up and leaned in. “I can’t do this, Steve. I’m going to fuck up.”

 

“No, you’re not.” Steve pressed his nose into Tony’s hair. “We might make some mistakes, but we’re in this together.”

 

Tony made a noise of protest, but Steve hugged him tighter. “Please tell me you’re not considering an abortion.”

 

Tony’s head shot up. “Of course not!”

 

“Good. We can do this, Tony. We made a mistake – “

 

“Understatement of the century.”

 

“But good things can come out of mistakes.” Steve’s hand drifted lower, and he lay his palm over Tony’s still-flat stomach. “We can do this.” He could sense Tony’s panic. “It’s going to be okay. I’ve seen you with children. You’re great with them. You sign their autographs, you humor them when you’re Iron Man instead of brushing them off like those other mean celebrities, and remember that little girl? She refused to let go of you!”

 

“That’s different, Steve,” Tony sounded almost sad. “It’s different from being a full-time dad.”

 

This moment was being added to Steve’s list that was now titled TIMES I FEEL LIKE PUNCHING HOWARD. “I know. But we never know till we try, right?”

 

“What if I change back into my original body? Then what will happen? We might still lose the baby anyway.”

 

“We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it. You’ve been female for nearly three months now.”

 

“The media…?”

 

“They already know you’ve been turned into a woman, thanks to those photos of you shopping for um, those um, nice sets of lingerie.” They had been extremely exquisite indeed. And the media fallout had been spectacular. “And since when does Tony Stark care about what the media says?”

 

Steve could feel Tony begin to relax into him. “I… I don’t know, Steve.”

 

“Trust me. We’ll face this together. It’s going to be okay. We’re Avengers. We can take anything.”

 

“We need to turn those puppy dog eyes into some kind of weapon.”

 

Steve laughed, a deep chuckle, and pressed a kiss to Tony’s unruly hair. “I love you too, Tony.”

 

* * *

 

To say the team took it well was an understatement. They were, in fact, very stoic about it.

 

“Congratulations are in order!” Thor boomed, slamming a hand down on the table, which to its credit, managed to remain uncracked. “A child is a precious and wonderful gift indeed!”

 

“You don't think… it’s weird?” Steve winced as Thor clapped his shoulder, causing his knees to buckle slightly. He began to pull a chair out for Tony, one hand going to grasp Tony’s elbow, but the dirty look stopped him in his tracks. He settled for sitting down in his own chair as Tony flopped down at the table.

 

“Ho, it is not unnatural! I am an uncle to my brother’s children! How can I think it unnatural?”

 

“Loki has kids?” Tony’s eyes were wide open out. Steve was half-afraid they would fall out. That is, if he didn’t drop dead of a heart attack himself at the revelation. “Seriously?”

 

“Yes, and I love them dearly like an uncle should!”

 

Clint looked like he had something witty to say, but Natasha kicked him squarely in the shin, shooting him a warning glance.

 

Her original sniping about Tony’s displeasure at being a woman had finally stopped after they’d realized that it wasn’t looking to be a temporary thing. Oh, and Steve had told her off sternly after one particularly insensitive comment had Tony storming off to the workshop. Tony had a right to be upset – for decades, he’d been a man. Now, he seemed to be stuck as a woman indefinitely.

 

Natasha had made up for it by being the one to bring Tony lingerie shopping.

 

Coulson sighed. Steve could only imagine the paperwork that was going to be involved. He didn’t look forward to Fury finding out, either.

 

“This is not what I wanted, okay?” Tony said defensively after finally prying his eyes off the ground. “I didn’t mean for this to happen. I mean… kids and Tony Stark do not go well together. Everyone can see that. You guys _know_ that.”

 

“Actually,” Natasha interjected. “I think you two will do fine. Better than fine, in fact.”

 

It took Tony a while to figure out that Natasha was complimenting him. Steve hid his smile behind his mug of juice as Tony gaped. “Seriously?”

 

“Don't push it, Stark.”

 

Then, it was almost surreal as Jane, Darcy and Natasha began discussing baby things.

 

“You guys are supposed to freak out,” Tony muttered. “Not embrace it. This is not natural.”

 

“An Avengers baby!” Jane squealed. “This is very, very exciting!”

 

Darcy simply held up her hand. “You have done well, soldier,” she giggled. Steve blushed, and complied with a shy high-five.

 

 Clint, admirably, was able to restrain himself. “Congratulations.” He sounded as though he was being strangled, though his face was solemn and at rest.

 

Tony shot a wary glance at Clint. “Five seconds. Go.”  

 

Clint immediately leapt up from his chair “You guys were going at it like _rabbits_!” he flapped excitedly in some sort of… dance. “This one is going into the books, man!”

 

With a sharp look from Coulson, he immediately tempered down and planted his butt in his chair, right on time. “But I am glad for you two. Seriously. The whole team is behind you both for this! I promise your kid is going to get the best birthday cakes.”

 

Bruce cleared his throat. “Let’s not jump too far ahead of ourselves.”

  
“Dr Banner?” Coulson, of course.

 

“We currently have no idea whether Tony’s gender swap is stable. He has had this body for three months and counting, but he might not remain so for the next few months.”

 

Things got serious really quickly. “So what do we have to expect?” Natasha asked, leaning in closer.

 

“I think it’s safe to say that we’ll have to remove Tony from the field – “

 

“What!” Tony squawked.

 

“He’s right, Tony,” Steve cut in. “We can’t risk any trauma or injuries or any other supernatural or magical happenings.”

 

“The suit can withstand any – “

 

“No, Tony,” Natasha was the one to cut in this time. “The suit is not invincible. It wasn’t invincible to the magical mist, and you’ve suffered broken bones despite being in it before.”

 

Everyone nodded self-righteously, impervious to Tony’s magnificent glare.

 

“I’ll be conducting weekly medical checkups - sorry, Tony, but it _is_ necessary – and I would appreciate it if you could all keep an eye out for him.”

 

“I am not some kind of invalid, or – “ hissed Tony.

 

Bruce went on. “We’ll need to monitor any symptoms, and at any sign of things going wrong, we’ll need to act fast.” Bruce paused, then slid a file across the table. “We’ll also be consulting a obstetrician. Dr Miranda Ballack. She’s the best in her field, and an ex-schoolmate of mine. We can trust her, SHIELD has performed the necessary background checks.”

 

Coulson nodded in agreement. Tony blinked. They were moving efficiently, indeed.

 

“Other than that, Tony, you’ll need to take good care of yourself. This is _important_. No more alcohol, caffeine, or crazy long periods without sleep. This is a baby, a real human being in you. You’re no longer responsible for just yourself.”

 

There was a long, expectant pause as Steve – okay, everyone – turned to look at Tony. Clint barely suppressed his grin. Natasha raised a shapely eyebrow. Coulson sighed and rubbed at his temples, prepared for the worst. . Steve worried at his lip. Thor just looked earnestly at Tony.

 

“Kill me now,” was the proclamation. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get real. Tony does or does not freak out.

“What,” squawked Tony indignantly as he lunged for the bottle, “are you _doing_?!”

 

“You know you can’t consume any alcohol.”

 

“No no no no no.” Tony grabbed at the bottle and clasped it to his chest unashamedly. Steve tried to ignore the fact that Tony was cradling the bottle. “This is a very, very fine bottle of Dalmore 62 scotch whiskey that cost me over fifteen thousand bucks, and you are not – “

 

“Fifteen thousand dollars?!” Steve reached over, horrified, and yanked the bottle out of Tony’s caress. “Tony, it’s just a bottle of alcohol!” He knew Tony was rich, but that much money on a bottle of scotch whiskey was absolutely appalling.

 

But Tony was distracted as Bruce emerged from the kitchen with bags and bags of coffee beans. With a horrified yell, he scrambled over the bar – “TONY!” – and made a leap for Bruce, who neatly side-stepped him and still somehow managed to steady him with his free hand to prevent him from falling.

 

“You do _not_ get to take the coffee away.” Tony’s grabby hands were batted away by Bruce, who raised his eyebrows. “I bought them. That is a very, very fine blend of – “

 

“Tony, we discussed this.”

 

“Noooooooooo we did not – “

 

“Yes, we did.”

 

“No, we did not.”

 

“Tony.”

 

“Bruce.”

 

“ _Tony_.”

 

“Bruceyyyyyyyy.”

 

“The whine may work on Steve, but you know it doesn’t work on me.” Bruce was actually being quite intimidating and serious about this. He peered over his glasses. “That pout. Not working.”

 

Tony stared at them both, then stalked away.

  
It was Pepper who went to talk to Tony this time.

 

“I’m going to fuck this up,” Tony said sadly as Pepper slid into the seat next to him in the Boxster. His fingers were tapping anxiously on the wheel. “I’m not cut out for this.”

 

“That’s rubbish,” Pepper admonished gently. She reached across and stilled Tony’s restless fingers. “You and Steve are going to be great.”

 

“I don’t even know what a good parent does… buy loads of presents?”

 

“Just do everything you wanted Howard to do but didn’t do.”

 

“That’s easy to say.”

 

“You’re off to a good start. You’re letting Bruce and Steve and everyone help you. You’re taking care of your body.” She offered him a reassuring smile. There was genuine pride and happiness in her eyes. She was happy for him. “You never used to.”

 

Tony seemed mollified by that. He pressed a kiss to her knuckles. “Always the voice of reason, Miss Potts.”

 

“You’re welcome, Mr Stark.” She leaned in to press a kiss to Tony’s cheek. “I’m happy for you and Steve.”

 

Steve’s punishment was easy. No access to Tony’s magical vagina for a long, long time. And, Tony made sure to elbow him awake whenever he had the urge to go puke his guts out into the friendly toilet bowl, which was actually really often.

 

Bruce’s punishment took a bit of thinking. Eventually, Tony decided on rearranging all the tools in Bruce’s lab to spell out BORING BRUCEY on the ceiling, and fixing all the electronics in his lab to simultaneously burst into _It’s A Small World_ whenever Bruce stepped into the lab or attempted to type on the keyboard.

 

The rest of the team wisely stayed out of the process of baby-proofing Tony Stark. Except for Natasha, of course. Tony wouldn’t have dared to do anything to her. One glare was enough to quell his protests. At least she was keeping Clint in check; he would have taken all the good alcohol for himself, and they would have been an absolute _waste_ on him.

 

Tony pretended he didn’t hear Darcy whisper to Thor. “It’s the hormones,” she said, not very quietly. “They’re _surging_.”

 

“I do not understand.”

 

“It’s like when Jane curls up on the couch, watches The Notebook and eats Phish Food by the tubful.”

 

Thor nodded sagely.

 

* * *

 

It turned out that morning sickness wasn’t limited to mornings. It proved to be absolutely horrifying for them all when Tony developed an aversion to the smell of Bruce’s phenomenal Thai seafood curry, fish and chips, and anything and everything that was oily or fishy or seafood-y. It didn’t help that the man had a sense of smell as strong as a sniffer dog’s.

 

With the looks that Steve shot at the team – pleading always worked over demanding, play to the better person in them – and the general instability that had overtaken their home thanks to Tony’s various punishments for their reactions to the news of a fetus residing in Tony’s uterus, as well as the fact that Tony already didn’t eat enough on a regular basis, the team decided not to push their luck, and removed all seafood from their diet. They were all clear of the hell he could raise with well, the Tower technically being his and everything.

 

All in all, Tony seemed to be taking it with infinite grace. At least, more than Steve thought possible. Perhaps the narcissist in Tony had something to do with that. He wasn’t chafing at Steve’s concerned hovering (yet) and the puking was slowly but surely getting less traumatizing for them both.

 

So of course, all hell broke loose a few weeks later.

 

It started off like a regular Wednesday morning.

 

Steve clambered out of the bed at the crack of dawn, lifting Tony’s head off his chest. Tony was absolutely the worst bed partner, he was everywhere all the time, and their bed was a super super _super_ king sized bed, which meant it was about the size of a cabin on the helicarrier. Tony grumbled incoherently and swatted at Steve, but Steve planted a kiss on several of those frown lines, which gradually faded away.

 

An invigorating jog and cold shower later, Steve embarked on the impossible job of waking Tony, who had now wrapped himself around a giant pillow right in the middle of the bed, under their duvet, with only his dark hair showing. JARVIS took care of the blinds while he tugged the duvet away from where he guessed Tony’s face to be.

 

“Tony,” he sing-songed. He dropped the elbow he had ended up fishing out and dug further under the duvet to tug at a smooth chin. He kind of missed the stubble. “Time to wake up.”

 

“Ngggggh.”

 

“Wakey-wakey.”

 

Steve gave Tony thirty seconds before he stripped the covers entirely, leaving a very small Tony Stark in the middle of the huge bed, huddled around a pillow. Steve tugged away the pillow and pulled Tony upright. It took several attempts before Tony sat upright on his own, eyes half-lidded and hair absolutely a mess.

 

Steve made sure Tony was safely ensconced in the shower with the hot water before heading to the small kitchen they had on their floor to prepare a glass of Milo. Tony had taken to the chocolate malt drink in the light of the recent outlawing of coffee in his life. It was terribly expensive and extremely hard to find, so it was good that Tony was a billionaire with the resources to actually import the Milo. The first time he had drunk it, he’d declared that it’d need to be shipped over by the cartons for him.

 

Steve tried to ignore the fact that it was a drink favoured by children. It was nutritious anyway. And supposedly was energy-boosting a la coffee but without the actual caffeine. That was always good.Tony had been an absolute bear without his coffee. There was one point at which Steve had actually feared Tony would _cry_. He had been hoping the hormones for emotions would hit slightly later on (yes he'd been reading books about pregnancy - THE EXPECTANT FATHER; FATHERS-TO-BE; YOU'RE HAVING A BABY!)

But the tears had eventually never fallen and the crisis had been averted because Coulson had magically appeared with a tin of Milo powder and had made a cup of hot, thick chocolate-y malt-y goodness for Tony. He had shoved the mug into Tony's hands and glared him down until he'd drunk it. And it had turned out that it would be Tony's new love. 

 

It was only because of Steve’s quick reflexes that the mug didn’t end up in a million pieces when a string of extremely loud and jarring expletives reached his ears.

 

“Tony?” Steve immediately ran towards the bathroom. “Is everything okay?”

 

“Oh my Jesus fucking Christ - NO I AM NOT OKAY.”

 

Steve skidded to a halt in the doorway. He was greeted by the sight of Tony naked, save for the pair of jeans he was tugging on.

 

Tugging on forcefully, because well, it couldn’t be buttoned.

 

How come he hadn’t noticed the slight curve of Tony’s stomach yet? After Tony had been turned into a woman, his abdomen was no longer rock-hard. It wasn’t flabby. No, it had been soft, but with baby-smooth skin. Now, though, it was clear that there was a slight swell.

 

“Oh,” was all Steve managed to say.  
  
“ _Oh_ is right.” Tony seemed to deflate, and sank down onto the armchair (yes, they had an armchair in the bathroom.). “I’m fat.”

 

“No, you’re not.”

 

“I can’t button my jeans!” Tony slumped down further into the armchair, which just served to highlight the small bump at his midriff. Steve refrained from commenting, sensing that this was a highly sensitive situation.

 

“That’s because they fit you to a tee.” Steve was sure some of Tony’s clothes cost more than an average household’s utility bill. He had a penchant for tight-fitting clothes with ridiculously expensive fabrics and sleek cuts. “Doesn’t mean you’re fat.”

 

“Yes, it does.”

 

“Excuse me,” Steve harrumphed. He ducked out of the toilet and made his way over to their wardrobe. “You have a child growing in you. You are _not_ fat.”

 

“Saying it in the _I’m Captain America, You Have To Listen To Me_ voice doesn’t work on me.” Tony sucked in his stomach. It was undeniable, the bump was there. “This sucks.” He did it again, then exhaled heavily. “I’m fat.” And again. “All my shirts are going to be stretched. My expensive, edgy, beautiful shirts. They are all going to be ruined by a fat bulge.”

 

Steve came back into the bathroom with a large plastic box in his arms. He dropped into a crouch next to the armchair, and lifted the lid off the box to reveal stacks of neatly folded clothing. He picked a pair of jeans up and held it out in front of Tony wordlessly.

 

“What’s that?”

 

“Just hush and put it on.”

 

Tony grumbled but pushed his current pair of jeans down past his thighs. He childishly flopped the pants with his feet repeatedly as he tried to struggle out of it while somehow still sitting down. Steve sighed and shook his head, tugging on the cuff of the jeans, sliding it off and leaving Tony in his boxers. Tony reluctantly tugged on the dark denim that Steve had handed to him.

 

Which were a perfect fit.

 

“What,” Tony gaped. “How?”

 

“I had them tailor-made,” Steve replied nonchalantly. “With Armand, no less.”

 

Armand was Tony’s best friend. The best friend who also charged exorbitant prices for what essentially was pieces of cloth sewn together.

 

“But – “

 

“Non-disclosure agreements can be frightening. Especially when presented to by a particular Miss Pepper Potts.”

  
“Atta girl,” Tony breathed. He leapt up from the armchair, put on his shirt and surveyed himself in the mirror. “I knew Armand was good.”

 

Steve eyed Tony. Armand _was_ good. The way the fabric fell on both the shirt and the denim... Tony looked exactly the same as before. No one would notice that the shirts were slightly looser and bigger than before. The plan was for Tony to continue working at SI (as Pepper had insisted despite numerous vocal complaints from Tony, who didn’t understand why he couldn’t take a break from pesky board members and paperwork when he had to take a break from Avenging) and appear as normal as possible until it was no longer humanly possible to conceal the bump. Tony was far too prominent a figure to go underground for nine months without major impact on SI shares.

 

Steve got up from the ground and came to stand behind Tony, dipping his head to plant a kiss into Tony’s still-wet hair. “Now will you quit grumbling and please have some breakfast before your 8am with your head of R&D.”

 

“One Pepper in my life is enough, thank you very much.”

 

Steve couldn’t resist sliding his hand over Tony’s stomach, flattening the fabric to reveal the bump. It was still surreal. And judging from the sharp intake of breath on Tony’s part, it was still surreal to him too. “Thank you,” Steve blurted out. He couldn’t help it. “I know you’re not – you’ve never really wanted kids, but – “He looked in the mirror, but Tony was looking down at where his hand covered the bump. “I want a family with you.”

 

“There’s no guarantee that everything is going to be fine…” Tony whispered. “You don’t know that. Going by my track record, I’m probably going to fuck this up.”

 

Steve squeezed Tony a little harder. “You’re not,” he said resolutely.

 

“How do you – “

 

“I won’t let you. Bruce won’t let you. We all won’t let you. And JARVIS… he definitely won’t let you.”

 

“I guess,” Tony replied uncertainly.

 

“We can do this together, Tony.”

 

“Yeah.” Steve turned Tony around, and fixed on him his most earnest look. Tony’s lips quirked at that. “You’re giving me that look again. You’re _such_ a sneaky man.”

 

“We both have our own weapons. Definitely not afraid to use it.”

 

* * *

  
Miranda Ballack was a very calm and collected medical professional who seemed unfazed at the fact that it was Captain America and Iron Man in front of her. She didn’t seem too impressed by the Tower nor the sheer range of medical equipment that Bruce had set up overnight in what had now been designated as the Medical Wing of the Tower. Nor was she too mindboggled by the fact that Tony Stark was pregnant.

 

Steve liked her, though. She was friendly and warm and everything a doctor should be. She also had enough sass to handle Tony. And determination and tenacity and infinite patience, since getting Tony Stark to cooperate with medical professionals was like trying to contain water in a sieve. 

 

Bruce was diligently taking notes as Miranda Ballack gave Tony a physical examination. All seemed to be going fine, though Tony’s wisecracks were definitely off the mark. He was nervous. He just went silent totally as Miranda examined the area around the arc reactor, examining the scars and the arc reactor itself. It was Bruce who had to answer the questions about how deep the arc reactor went. Steve just concentrated on letting Tony hold his hand. Tony was still nervous about people going near the arc reactor. Steve doubted he would really get over that. It was one of those things you just never really managed to get over. As Dr Ballack moved on to other parts of the body, Steve could feel Tony relax.

  
Up until the stirrups were setup.

 

Tony balked as Dr Ballack pushed them into position. There was an audible click when they were settled into the right position. “What is that for,” he gulped. “Please don’t tell me you’re going to do what I think you’re going to do.”

 

Dr Ballack smiled apologetically. “I really need to make sure that everything is where it’s supposed to be. I know Dr Banner has run some tests already, but I would really prefer to make sure that the… plumbing, as you have called it, is all fine. I don’t want to be caught unaware by any complications that might arise at any point of your pregnancy.”

 

Steve blushed and move to stand near Tony’s head as Tony tugged off the scrub pants (he'd resolutely refused to wear a hospital gown) and settled his legs into the stirrups. Dr Ballack settled a sheet over Tony’s legs and sat down on a stool between his legs. Bruce averted his eyes by examining some very interesting facts on his clipboard.

 

“Kill me now,” Tony proclaimed. He winced as Dr Ballack’s fingers probed. “What the hell.”

 

“Everything seems fine.” Steve sighed in relief. His heart had been pounding for fear of Dr Ballack finding some abnormality. All he wanted was for everything to go smoothly for Tony. “I, however, do have some concerns for the later stages of the pregnancy.”

 

“Please do go on, Ma’am.”

“Please call me Miranda.” Miranda pulled the portable lightbox over and gestured to the x-ray on it. “I have some concerns about the arc reactor. I didn’t expect for it to take up so much space in his chest cavity. He’s already operating on a reduced lung capacity – you should know, Captain, he breathes more shallowly and rapidly than other people.“ Steve nodded in agreement. Just because he and Tony had never talked about it didn’t mean he hadn’t done his own research or noticed things on his own. “As the baby grows, it’s going to take up more space in Mr Stark. Perfectly healthy pregnant mothers often find themselves out of breath in the third trimester. Not to mention the fact that Mr Stark’s heart and lungs have suffered some damage with the previous episode of palladium poisoning. I am also not very happy with how narrow Mr Stark's hips are - they are definitely much narrower than an average woman's." 

  
Steve glanced at Tony, who was listening attentively but neutrally. He couldn’t quite read the look in Tony’s eyes.

  
Miranda pushed her glasses further up her nose. “Evidently, Mr Stark is going to have a more difficult time in the third trimester.” She noticed the stricken look on Steve’s face, and hastily added, “But there are many things that we can do about it. And we will cross that bridge when we come to it. I will do my very best to make things as easy and healthy as possible for Mr Stark and the baby.”

 

“What are the risks?”

 

“I think difficulties breathing are a given. I would also imagine fatigue and light-headedness from poor blood circulation, which I see from your chart, plague you occasionally, Mr Stark.”

 

Tony nodded. Steve unconsciously took his hand and squeezed it tight.  
  
  
“I would actually like to give you check-ups every two weeks, Mr Stark – “

 

“Tony,” Tony interjected. “You can call me Tony.”

 

That was how Steve knew Tony was going to treat this seriously.

 

“Tony,” Miranda smiled. Steve suddenly realized that she _had_ been nervous – nervous at dealing with well, Captain America and Iron Man. But now that  ice had been broke, and approval had been given, it did seem like a weight had been taken off her shoulders. “Biweekly check-ups are fine, then?”

 

Tony and Steve nodded.

 

“Shall we do something slightly more uplifting now?”

 

She didn’t wait for a reply before rolling the ultrasound machine over. Tony mutely lifted his shirt. He winced as she applied the gel. As she turned the machine on, revealing the grayish matter on the screen, both his and Steve’s eyes were fixed to the screen.

 

“You look to be about… 14 weeks along. You’re showing rather early, but fine because you’re on the lean side.”

 

“Is that…?” Steve murmured in awe.

 

“Yeah, that’s your baby’s heartbeat,” Miranda smiled and turned the volume up a little louder. “Nice and strong.”

 

Steve looked down at Tony, who seemed to be awestruck, his lips parted slightly as he stared at the screen with wide eyes. “You okay, Tony?”

 

“Yeah,” Tony whispered back. A little wetly, Steve thought. “I’m good.”

 

“We’re good,” Steve affirmed, grinning at Miranda. “We’re good.”

 

“Would you like to know if it’s a boy or girl?”

 

“Yes,” Tony said at the same time Steve went, “No.”

 

“Ooooookay. Don’t worry, many parents argue over whether or not to find out before the birth. In this aspect, you guys are totally normal. You guys can take your time to decide – I am coming in every two weeks anyway. You don’t have to decide right now.” She handed a tissue to Tony, who swiped at his gel-covered belly before lowering his shirt. Then, she handed several copies of the pictures of the ultrasound to them. "I know some couples who use these pictures as a sort of birth announcement. I doubt that will be so if your case, but you do appear to have some sort of eager fanbase within the team itself." Steve and Tony followed her gaze to the door, where through the panel, they could see the eager faces of Darcy, Jane and Clint. Then there was a flash of red hair - Natasha - and the three excited faces disappeared abruptly from the panel as they were yanked away. 

 

When she and Bruce were both gone, Steve waited for Tony to change out of the scrubs and into his regular clothes.

 

Then, he reached over and gave him a tight hug. They didn’t say anything. They just hugged the hell out of each other.

 

* * *

 

Later that night, they lay face to face in their bad, their breaths mingling the tiny space between their heads. Steve studied Tony’s face. There was no other way to describe it – Tony Stark was a beautiful woman. The nose was a little crooked, and the mouth a little broad, but god, in Steve’s eyes, Tony was _beautiful_. 

 

Tony whispered, “Do you really not want to know the sex of the baby?”

 

“Do you really want to know?” 

 

Tony chewed on his lower lip. Steve reached out and thumbed it, making him stop. “I just want to be prepared,” Tony admitted. “I want to be ready.”

 

“Okay,” Steve said simply. He got it. Tony was scared enough already. As much as it would have been nice to find out upon the birth, he got why Tony needed to know. “We’ll find out the next time Miranda comes around then.”

 

Tony’s smile was tentative, but it was there. “Okay.” Steve could tell he was finally coming to terms with it. “We’re going to be okay, right?”

 

What Miranda had said earlier in the day about complications niggled at the back of Steve’s mind, but he ignored it. They were good for now. For now. They would cross the bridge when they came to it. Any problems would come later, and until then, all was good. And Steve was determined to savor the moments. 

 

“Yeah,” he murmured. “We’re going to be more than okay.” 


End file.
